I'm still sick...

And last night after Austin and Cameron came over I started to shiver. I woke up this morning with three blankets on, still shivering, with a HUGE headache, stomachache, and I felt like someone stuffed rocks up my nose. :P

So, right now I can at least stand. Which I haven't been able to all day,


All right I wrote that ^ like 5 hours ago, and I started shivering again like I am now, so I layed back down. My parents are going to be home from their cruise soon, I just ate.


Okay I wrote that ^^^ Yesterday. Today I'm feeling a good amount better, still kinda ehhh though. I went with Aj, Sarah, Jeff, Kristen, and Will to Aj's apartments pool, and had a lot of fun.

I just realized that apartment is an oxy moron, It has the word Apart in it, but the buildings are all put together, haha.

Well, I'm not feeling so good, so this might be a bit shorter than most my blogs.

OOOOOOoo How it's made is on :D

Anyway, I've been pretty good lately, the band is going great, Billy(my older brother) is finally back and we have been getting close again, I also really like my haircut, but I want it shorter because I'm a freak, but for now I'm going to keep it this length because it looks good ;D haha.

Well, I'm beat so goodnight everyone!


-steven

OH GOD WHYYY

Must you have Tony walk around in his underwear I can't even look him in the eyes anymore its so terrible. And the....-shivers- STAINS. UGH! I don't think I can hanled this anymore. I'm not even joking its the most horrific thing I could ever see!

Well everyone have a good school, day I'm off for breakfast.


-Steven

"Not much on my mind..."

Well I decided to not straighten my hair for the next coupl of days because today I didn't and it brought back some memories, I'll see what else i remmeber by the end of the week.

I had a really awesome weekend!

OHohohhhh, first band practice was Saturday! We got postponed a good two hours because of my stepdad wanting to nap. But once we got things rolling it was really awesomely amazing.

Not much on my mind, well not much TO TALK ABOUT on my mind. So I think I'll probably go to sleep soon.
;D


-steven

Acceptence...

I finally am able to stop being so fucked up. I am still going to miss her like fuck, but if she can't forgive me, its her own fault. I just thought my friendship was strong enough to be able to be forgiven if I ever fucked up. Once again its your fault. Sorry.

Anyways, I recently found this guy on youtube and he has a lot of good topics and can really hold himself. I actually have the same ocurence that he mentions in this video, watch it its awesome.

Oh well I am posting another...

yeah I just posted one a couple of hours ago, but I just realized, something that I said to my friend Greer today.

"When somethings broken, I can either fix it, or destroy it forever..."

Kinda weird but I really hope this can be fixed.

My body...

Won't stop shivering, I have two jackets and three shirts on. but I still have goosebumps, I don't think I'm cold at this point. I had no clue that this would effect me physically as much as it does mentally.

I keep getting chills and convulshion like things. I'm starting get scared, I need to stop listening to this song. And I should really get some sleep I was awkae until teo o'clock yesterday, doing a project and after that I couldn't fall asleep. I keep forgeting that it happened and I expect my life to be fine, when I wake up I'm almost in a state of ignorant bliss, until it hits me all over again. I'm not sure when/if these shakes are going to leave but if they get any worse I might just stay home tomorrow.

Well, I went through this day without freaking out, I was quite irritable with certain people, and there was a few who really helped me through the day. I'm not sure if I'm overdoing this or making it sound worse than it is, but I think I need to go lay down, I keep getting lightheaded.

I'll (hopefully) see all of you tomorrow.


-stevn

Losing a bestfriend...

Going through losing a best friend is a weird thing. I haven't freaked out or hurt anyone, just a lot of thinking has taken place. I know exactly what I did what happened and why it happened. But I just can't get myself out of this mood. I still am wondering how this is going to be losing someone who for the past 3 years has had a major impact on my life. Just everyday things, like walking to classes, to the buses, hanging out in the morning and after school, are going to be completely different.

I'm still trying to imagine my life without this person, and I really can't so I guess this is going to be an interesting journey for me to go through. Everything seems to remind me of this person.

Another odd thing was when I woke up this morning, awake but still oblivious, and for a few minutes i forgot what occurred the night before. But when it hit me I got chills down my back, and I felt like every light in my brain turned off down a hall, like at a factory.

I was contemplating what do to with the current situation I was in before this past night. And I almost predicted it, but I didn't want it to end that way. Unfortuneately it did.

Well I let Jessie style my hair and it came out really cool, I like it and I'm excited to try something new. I have a Sunday full of things to ponder and change.


-steven